The Story Of Female Elephants

dancingwithalsandlife.blogspot.com 

 

In the beginning of my health crisis, there was an outpouring of support and involvement. However, when the medical condition has a slow trajectory, over time, I find some of the support and involvement dwindles away. I know this is not intentional, and I also know people didn't forget about me, but life is busy and continues to march on. I can honestly say in the past, there were times I wanted to do something for someone, but I got caught up in the daily grind and the opportunity just slipped away. So, I can relate with absolutely no judgment. When I was in this phase though I learned very quickly who my dedicated family/friends are and who was going to waltz with me on this journey by providing her/his devotion and support.

A longtime friend of mine one day gave me a very special gift of an elephant along with the story of female elephants. This gift had such a profound impact on me I immediately knew I wanted to share it with all the wonderful women in my life who were supporting me in some way. It also made me ponder how important people are in life and walking alone on the journey feels bleak and very isolating. It is also very important to learn early on to allow room for support when struggling in life.  I must tell you it has been a challenge for me to accept help especially when I am fighting so hard to hold onto every itty bitty strand of independence that is remaining. I have struggled with this prior to my illness as well because it just didn’t come naturally. I typically was the one providing support to others and rarely accepted help even if I needed it. I would call that an occupational hazard of being a social worker or just plain stubbornness. I’m not sure.  I am slowly coming to grips to acknowledge and accept help without feeling guilty or feeling badly that I can't do it on my own anymore. I would also like to share that it is important for supporters to understand willingness to accept help doesn't mean taking away total independence. To make this work, clear communication is necessary. A small sliver of independence that is remaining is a huge deal even if it appears I am struggling.  When I was giving elephants out to my dear, women friends, my husband said, “Well, I want to be part of the Yaya Sisterhood Club, too.”  One day I decided to put an elephant on his nightstand because if anyone deserves an elephant well before my lady friends, it is definitely my husband who supports and cares for me on a daily basis. So I do want to be clear.  Although this is a story about female elephants, there are a few men in my life that support and encourage me, too.

Elephants are sacred creatures so listen to me very closely.  If you choose to give out elephants to your supporters, the decision should not be taken lightly. An elephant is something that is earned by the action of sharing precious moments and heartfelt conversations together. A time when blessings are given and received.  I would like to thank our entourage of elephant supporters who are dancing with my spouse and I on our life/ALS journey. 

So here's the story about the female elephant. I will also include a PDF at the end of this blog if you wish to pass elephants along to your cherished supporters.  I have gotten many different styles of elephant figurines from Amazon.

Story Of Female Elephants

It's all about female elephants. You see, in the wild, when a mama elephant is giving birth, all the other female elephants in the herd back around her in formation. They close ranks so that the delivering mama cannot even be seen in the middle. They stomp and kick up dirt and soil to throw attackers off the scent and basically act like a pack of bad asses.

When the baby elephant is delivered, the sister elephants do two things; they kick sand or dirt over the newborn to protect its fragile skin from the sun, and then they start trumpeting, a female celebration of new life, of sisterhood, of something beautiful being born in a harsh, wild world despite enemies and attackers and predators and odds.  Scientists tell us that they normally take this formation in only two cases – under attack by predators like lions, or during the birth of a new elephant.

This is what we do, girls. When our sisters are vulnerable, they are giving birth to new life, new ideas, new ministries, new spaces.  When they are under attack, when they need their people to surround them so they can create, deliver, heal and recover. We get in formation! We close ranks and literally have each other's backs. You want to mess with our sis?

Come through us first!

Good luck!

And when delivery comes, when new life makes its entrance, when healing finally begins, when the night has passed and her sister is ready to rise back up, we find our trumpets because we saw it through together. We celebrate! We cheer! We raise our glasses and give thanks.

If you are closing ranks around a vulnerable sister, or if your girls have you surrounded while you are tender, this is how it would be.

There is no community like a community of women

Thanks for being my community!

Story of female elephants

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