Everyone Needs A Purpose

dancingwithalsandlife.blogspot.com 

I began to take one step forward and then one step backward and I start moving forward again a.k.a. dancing with ALS because it is constantly robbing me of something. For example, I can no longer drive, take a shower on my own, bring a glass to my mouth to take a drink, dress myself and hug my loved ones.  The list becomes endless when living with ALS. These things are all happening while I am keenly alert and aware that the disease will progress. After time marched on and death didn’t come as soon as I thought, I had a choice to make.  Do I continue to remain in the dark spaces, or do I use my faith and decide to start living the life that I’ve been given even with all the nasty things that come along with it?

The next fundamental question that presents itself is what is my purpose? Everyone needs to feel a sense of purpose and hope in their day.  It is vital part of our mental health.  Ironically, this was a conversation I had hundreds of times as a social worker caring for elderly who were losing their sense of independence and hope. Even individuals with dementia need to have something to fill their day and have purpose. I worked with many families through the years to set up daily routines for these individuals. First, I would talk with the families to find out about the individuals past history and what they were like prior to their memory loss. With Alzheimer’s /dementia, individuals revert back to the long-term memories and short-term memory is no longer present or even minimal. 

Here are a few lives that were impacted by Alzheimer’s. One lady would get agitated early in the morning and late afternoon constantly asking for her children. After learning her life story, I was able to determine she was a homemaker, and her days were very busy in the mornings getting her children ready for the day and for when they would return home from school. When she was referring to her children, it wasn't about her adult children.  In her memory, she was reverting back in her past memories as a young mother and was now referring to her young children. In the morning, I decided to give her lunch bags and non-perishable items to pack for the children before they went off to school.  I would then tell her I would make sure her children got them before they left for the day. We would repeat the same thing in the afternoons for her to prepare snacks for her children before they went off to their sporting activities. After we established this routine, her mornings and afternoons of agitation disappeared, and she was content throughout the day. Professionals called her agitation "behaviors."  Were they really? 

Another lady with agitation was a retired secretary. Telling her she was retired and no longer needed to work did not satisfy her. I gave her paper and pen and a bunch of simple documents asking her to organize them and take notes so I could give it to her boss. A gentleman was an accountant.  I gave him simple math solutions to complete. A nurse was aimlessly wandering throughout the building trying to find a door to exit. I paired her up with a staff member asking for her nursing expertise along the way. What do the homemaker, secretary, accountant and nurse have in common with me? You guessed it, we all need a sense of purpose, and it doesn't matter what stage of life we are in. If we don’t have purpose, things will become upsetting, confusing, and depression will set in. 

Prior to determining what my purpose was, I started to feel like if I don't die from ALS, I'm going to die from boredom and frustration. I'm sure the homemaker, secretary, accountant and nurse may have felt the same way.  Therefore, I am constantly reevaluating my sense of purpose and what I can do within my limitations. I must say, there are been many tears over this question.  Only after several months of thinking about what I was going to do, and not all the reasons why I couldn’t do something, or letting my fears get in the way, I was able to move forward. This was very important to me because I didn’t want to reach the end of my life and have regrets. For people living with ALS, this will vary greatly depending on their remaining abilities. For some it might be sitting with grandchildren watching TV, or maybe just offering a smile or advocating for ALS legislation. 

Some of the ways that I feel like I have a sense of purpose in my day is to be there for my family and friends when they need some support or a pep talk to get through their work day. With the assistance of my neighbor, I serve as a board member to a local organization that supports individuals with intellectual disabilities, autism and seniors. I have begun to volunteer one day a week for an hour or two at a nursing home sitting with patients who do not have family visitors, are lonely or on hospice services. I think finding a sense of purpose will always be changing and adapting based on life circumstances, health or disabilities. For all of us, if we lose the sense of purpose and have no hope, there is no life! 

So, what is your purpose? Are you doing what you were designed to do? Are you for fulfilling it? If you aren't, you need to do a little soul-searching prayer or whenever you use to draw your strength from to figure it out. One thing I learned very quickly was no one was going to figure it out for me, nor was it going to just land in my lap. Please don’t waste time. Go find your purpose! There is a reason why you, too, are still on this planet!

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